GET UP (again)

Setbacks.  They happen.  To all of us.  Things go along well, and then you hit a bump in the road.  It’s supposed to be about the journey, right?

In the last few days, I’ve hit two faily large bumps — one emotional, one physical.

The last time I had an emotional firestorm like this one was several years ago.  I can’t prove nuthin’, but I’ve never thought it was a coincidence that I started getting really sick right around the time my emotions were in crisis.  Naturally, my first reaction to this most recent unpleasantness has been panic that I would get sick again.  I realized, again with the help of people I love, that one does not necessarily follow the other.  An emotional hiccup does not automatically cause physical illness, even in me.  I also realized that after surviving my past, that which did not kill me has, in fact, made me stronger.  I’m not going to run out and eat a bunch of wheat and corn, just so I can make myself sick again and retreat back into my shell.

Today, I hit the physical speed bump.  Starting in two weeks, I’m going to have about 6 months of . . . let’s say . . . challenges.  This has been building for several months, though, the issue I mentioned here as “yet-unresolved-but-resolvable.”  I thought the resolution would be something uncomfortable, but short-lived and manageable.  It’s now going to prove more difficult than I expected.

I think both of these setbacks are related, but not because one has caused the other.  They are related because they are both here in front of me to let me use what I have learned.  To give me the chance to show myself, with actual evidence, that I am strong and can overcome.  This is my test.

Last time I got knocked down, it took a long time and much stumbling to get on my feet.  I may get knocked down again, I might just fall, but this time I know how to get up again, and I will return to standing position.  There is no other choice.

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